I never knew it was weird to spread butter on frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts. I don’t know how we got on the subject, we must’ve been talking about what we ate for breakfast as kids, but the husband was like what? You put butter on Pop-Tarts? He seemed shocked and disgusted, and I was suddenly self-conscious. Wasn’t that normal? Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do?

So you spread butter on top of frosting? he said.

Oh. Well, when you put it that way…

Ah, I remember it vividly. I’d sit at the counter adjacent to our kitchen and one of my parents would set before me a frosted strawberry Pop-Tart, warm from the toaster, with butter melted atop the color-specked frosting and dripping down the sides.

Pop-Tarts were a huge part of my formative years, right up there with Nutri-Grain bars. When I was really young, it was always strawberry frosted. In middle and high school, I was into the s’more Pop-Tarts, which I preferred untoasted. Sometimes there was a chocolate frosted (or a white-chocolate frosted, remember those?) thrown into the mix. I never cared for the cinnamon. (Come to think of it, I didn’t like apple-cinnamon Nutri-Grains, either…maybe that’s where my ambivalent cinnamon prejudice originated.)

There was an embarrassing episode a few years back when the husband came home with a couple boxes of Pop-Tarts (I’m pretty sure they were the wacky neon blue and purple tie-dye ones or whatever crazy flavors they’re making these days), and I threw a total uncharacteristic and uncalled-for fit, taking personal offense to the fact that he would dare bring such processed, disgusting, lacking-in-any-nutritional-value-whatsoever waste-of-money garbage into our apartment.

Needless to say he never did again. I have since made peace with Pop-Tarts. Not that I’ve been eating them, I just haven’t been avidly protesting them. Ahh Pop-Tarts and our tumultuous past.

And now there are these. Homemade Pop-Tarts. When I came across them, my jaw dropped. It was on.

These Pop-Tarts are probably the biggest pain-in-the-ass things I’ve ever made, and also the most fun. I was smiling and giggling even as I was rotating the dough in and out of the freezer every two minutes because it kept melting into the parchment. I knew these would be a challenge, though. Dough and I, we don’t get along so well, but we’re working on our relationship, and I think it’s going pretty well!

(What you see below, by the way, are little dough trimmings, which I coiled into random squigglies and baked. They were delicious dipped in the extra Pop-Tart icing.)

Now come the pictures where you might laugh at me. (It’s OK, I laughed at me, too.) Clearly, I did not seal my Pop-Tarts well enough and some filling escaped. (Thankfully, not all of it.)

So, would you believe me if I told you that these actually tasted like Pop-Tarts, but way better? The pastry is flakier (like a cross between a Pop-Tart and a Toaster Strudel, said one taster), and the icing is sweeter than the icing on real Pop-Tarts. The filling is richer, and the whole thing is just much fresher-tasting (duh), like an actual delicious pastry. But the foundation is the same.

Flash forward a few days and all of these little bundles of joy are gone. I found myself wanting a real Pop-Tart. I wanted to remember what they tasted like! I started thinking that maybe I’d been missing out on something all these Pop-Tart-free years, that maybe, just maybe, I’d lift the Pop-Tart embargo. And so, I bought a frosted strawberry Pop-Tart (from a vending machine, no less!). And, I don’t know if this makes me happy or sad, but it was so disappointing. It was dry and dull and just…commercial tasting. (No doubt it would’ve been better toasted with melted butter.)

And so, I thought there was no way I was putting myself through this homemade Pop-Tart ordeal ever again, but now I’m not so sure. I miss them already. And practice makes perfect, right?

Homemade Pop-Tarts, adapted from King Arthur Flour via Smitten Kitchen

Makes 9 Pop-Tarts

Ingredients:

For the pastry

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 Tbsp sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into pats
• 1 large egg
• 2 Tbsp milk
• 1 additional large egg, beaten, to brush on the pastry

For strawberry filling (this was enough for 5 tarts, so if you’re making all strawberry, double the amounts here)

• 3/4 cup (8 oz) jam
• 1 Tbsp cornstarch mixed with 1 Tbsp cold water

For the cinnamon filling (enough for 9 tarts)

• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 to 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon, to taste
• 4 tsp all-purpose flour

Note: If I had to choose between the strawberry or cinnamon, I couldn’t. They’re both delicious (apparently I like cinnamon in these).

For the icing (optional)

• for each 1/2 cup confectioners sugar, add 1 to 2 Tbsp milk or water
• rainbow sprinkles, lightly crushed or chopped
• cinnamon

Alternate filling ideas: Nutella, chocolate chips, different jams like blueberry, raspberry, or cherry

Directions:

1. Make your fillings. For the strawberry filling, mix the jam with the cornstarch/water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, and simmer, stirring, for 2 minutes. Remove from heat, and set aside to cool. (This can be made in advance and refrigerated.) Note: I had problems with my cornstarch not completely dissolving. If you are left with some cornstarch clumps, pour the jam filling through a strainer. For the cinnamon filling, whisk together the brown sugar, cinnamon, and flour. Set aside. (This can also be made in advance and stored at room temperature.)
2. Make the dough. (Dough can be made up to 2 days in advance and refrigerated.) Whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt, or pulse in a food processor. Work in the butter with your fingers, a pastry blender, or in the food processor until pea-sized lumps of butter are still visible and the mixture holds together when pinched. If you’ve used a food processor, transfer the mixture to a large bowl. Whisk the first egg and milk together and stir them into the dough, mixing just until everything is cohesive.
3. Divide the dough in half, shaping each half into a smooth rectangle, about 3 x 5 inches. Use immediately, or refrigerate until ready to use, up to 2 days.
4. Assemble the tarts. If the dough has been chilled, remove it from the refrigerator and allow it to soften 15 to 30 minutes. Place one piece on a lightly floured work surface or between 2 pieces of parchment (what I did) and roll out into a rectangle about an 1/8 inch thick, large enough so you can trim to an even 9 x 12 inches (you can use a 9 x 13 inch pan, laid on top, as guidance). Repeat with the second piece of dough. Set trimming aside, on a parchment-lined baking sheet, to bake. Cut each piece of dough into 9 3- x 4-inch rectangles. Note: You will probably need to rotate the dough in and out of the freezer, on parchment, on a cookie sheet, because it will become too soft to work with. This applies to the entire time you’re working with the dough.
5. Beat the additional egg and brush it over the entire surface of the first dough (this will act as glue to seal the top and bottom of the tarts together). Place a heaping tablespoon of filling in the center of each rectangle, keeping a bare 1/2-inch perimeter around it. Place a second rectangle of dough atop of the first, sealing the dough well on all sides. Press the tines of a fork around the edge of the rectangle. Repeat with the remaining tarts.
6. Place the tarts on a parchment-lined baking sheet (they may already be on parchment). Prick the top of each tart multiple times with a fork or toothpick so steam can escape. Refrigerate the tarts for 30 minutes (you may want to do this before poking holes in the top if the dough has become too soft).
7. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Once the oven is heated, you can sprinkle your trimmings with cinnamon sugar and bake for 13 to 15 minutes, until lightly golden.
8. Bake the tarts for 20 to 25 minutes. Cool in pan on a rack.
9. Make the icings. Whisk together the confectioners sugar and milk or water. For the strawberry icing, add rainbow sprinkels. For the cinnamon icing, add a few pinches, to taste, of ground cinnamon.
10. When tarts have cooled at least 10 to 15 minutes (longer, if you can wait), frost with the icing.